Sorry I haven’t written. I’ve been busy back at work. Things have been hard. My wife had told me last week that she was pregnant. We were not trying nor did we expect it. At first I was shocked. Slowly I became excited at the thought of having another kid. We told the kids and they seem excited. Well that was last week. This week has not been good.Unfortunetly we found out she lost the baby. It hurts seeing her so disraght over it. I cannot do much but try to comfort her. I’m not even sure how I am taking it. I have been sleeping alot and I think thats why. I cannot seem to get enough sleep, which is the complete opposite of me normally.On top of this, it seems that my PTSD is making a comeback. I am etremely agitated and snap at the slightest thing. I cannot wait till we can move to Alaska and get away from this place. This job has brought out the worst in me. Luckily my wife has made the best of it and keeps herself busy. Normally I hate how much time she spends helping the family readiness group but now I think it will help her cope. Well thats what has been going on. I want to try and keep up with the blog but sometimes life just comes first.
One of the problems with PTSD is how to treat it. Drug treatment, cognitive therapy, group therapy, exposure therapy, desensitization, acupuncture, and numerous other types of treatments. Every person is different in their own way, so they will respond different to certain treatments. Currently I am on a drug treatment and one on one counseling. I have just started the counseling so I can not comment on it’s effectiveness as of yet. I have been put on so many different medications over the past 2 years and I am just now at a point where my family and myself can see they are working. The fact that it has taken so long is horrible. The problem is drugs arent always the answer. I know from experience the drugs do help me, but they cant cure the problem. The one thing I could never bring myself to do is actually talk to someone. I am a very closed in type of person. I do not share my feelings. Failing to open up has caused my feelings to fester and eventually take over. I am beginning to open up to my therapist, even giving her a link to my blog. I open up more writing or typing then I do in person. Maybe it’s because I do not have to see a face judging me.
As for my anxiety, I have decided to try and find hobbies to concentrate on and relax. I have began putting together models with my son. This is a relaxing activity and also gives me good one on one time with my son. I am also very much into electronics. I like to root (the “jail breaking” of the android operating system) my phones and tablets, customizing them to my likes. This takes time to learn and is very relaxing to me. It helped me create an Android application for my blog. So far these few things seem to be working. People are noticing I am much more calm now.
What has helped you? I want to open this post up to everyone that follows. I want to know what you have tried and if it worked. Let others know your experience so that they might be able to get some ideas.
Today I texted my Mom and Foster Mom Happy Easter. I got a reply back from my foster mom Pam ” Thank you. Who is this? I lost all my contacts.” I told her who it was and she then told me why she lost her contacts. The other night her and her husband Dennis’s house burnt down. She lives in the middle of nowhere Arkansas in the Ozarks. The only fire dept is volunteer and the roads to her house are not very accessible. So they were not quick to respond. She raises Pomeranians and has several other breeds of dogs. Unfortunately she lost 4 dogs in the fire. I know to me animals are like children. Losing 4 dogs on top of losing everything you own is one of the most horrible things I could imagine. I am grateful her and Dennis made it out safe though. I am sending a check to help them. I need to find out the tax legalities of accepting donations to my paypal account. I want to help as much as possible. They have to take a couple weeks off work and are staying with her mom at the moment. They are going to need to replace everything they owned. Does anyone know how I can go about trying to get donations without a big deal from the IRS? If you would like to help financially or anything please let me know. Please pray for them. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her. She took me in when I was 13 and helped me to grow up and get away from the path I was taking. This is a tragedy and could possibly cause them to have PTSD. Another reason I am putting this on my blog. PTSD is not only from combat it can come from any traumatic event.
Here is link to donate http://www.gofundme.com/2gkae8