It’s Been a While

Sorry I haven’t written. I’ve been busy back at work. Things have been hard. My wife had told me last week that she was pregnant. We were not trying nor did we expect it. At first I was shocked. Slowly I became excited at the thought of having another kid. We told the kids and they seem excited. Well that was last week. This week has not been good.Unfortunetly we found out she lost the baby. It hurts seeing her so disraght over it. I cannot do much but try to comfort her. I’m not even sure how I am taking it. I have been sleeping alot and I think thats why. I cannot seem to get enough sleep, which is the complete opposite of me normally.On top of this, it seems that my PTSD is making a comeback. I am etremely agitated and snap at the slightest thing. I cannot wait till we can move to Alaska and get away from this place. This job has brought out the worst in me. Luckily my wife has made the best of it and keeps herself busy. Normally I hate how much time she spends helping the family readiness group but now I think it will help her cope. Well thats what has been going on. I want to try and keep up with the blog but sometimes life just comes first.


Memorial Day

Today is a day to remember the fallen Soldiers and those still serving. Please take a moment today to reflect on how a Soldier has impacted your life. They do not need you to thank them. We do not serve for praises. We serve to remember those who have been lost. If you have a loved one who is a Veteran and they seem sad or distant today, do not question why. Many veterans will be reflecting today on friends lost. All we ask is that you remember those that have paid the ultimate price in defense or our nation. I do ask you to please keep an eye on your Veterans. Some might blame themselves or wonder why they are still alive and not a friend. We have lost too many Soldiers not only on the battlefield but also to PTSD. So I ask you, no I beg you to please be aware of not only the visible scars but the invisible ones. Vincit Amor Patriae!

Tattoo therapy

I have many tattoos. One arm is all military theme, the other is family. Plus other tattoos in various places. To me sitting in the chair getting inked is a form of therapy. The sound of the tattoo machine just calms me down. My military tattoos all have a meaning behind them, be it memorial or just a reminder. Does anyone else feel like getting inked is a minor form of therapy for them?

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Seeking help for PTSD

One of the problems with PTSD is how to treat it. Drug treatment, cognitive therapy, group therapy, exposure therapy, desensitization, acupuncture,  and numerous other types of treatments. Every person is different in their own way, so they will respond different to certain treatments. Currently I am on a drug treatment and one on one counseling. I have just started the counseling so I can not  comment on it’s effectiveness as of yet. I have been put on so many different medications over the past 2 years and I am just now at a point where my family and myself can see they are working. The fact that it has taken so long is horrible. The problem is drugs arent always the answer. I know from experience the drugs do help me, but they cant cure the problem. The one thing I could never bring myself to do is actually talk to someone. I am a very closed in type of person. I do not share my feelings. Failing to open up has caused my feelings to fester and eventually take over. I am beginning to open up to my therapist, even giving her a link to my blog. I open up more writing or typing then I do in person. Maybe it’s because I do not have to see a face judging me.

As for my anxiety, I have decided to try and find hobbies to concentrate on and relax. I have began putting together models with my son. This is a relaxing activity and also gives me good one on one time with my son. I am also very much into electronics. I like to root (the  “jail breaking” of the android operating system) my phones and tablets, customizing them to my likes. This takes time to learn and is very relaxing to me. It helped me create an Android application for my blog. So far these few things seem to be working. People are noticing I am much more calm now.

What has helped you? I want to open this post up to everyone that follows. I want to know what you have tried and if it worked. Let others know your experience so that they might be able to get some ideas.

Soldier Suicide: What Isn’t Being Said

Soldier Suicide: What Isn’t Being Said.

Society needs to realize what is happening. More deaths from suicide in a year than combat? This is ridiculous. News media cares more about what a celebrity wears to an awards dinner than a Soldier lying awake at night contemplating suicide. This is a great article that Americans need to read.